Stardust
by tsukinohikari-hime
Summary: “You’re in love with Jasper, that’s why. And you’re too young for him. Maybe I shouldn’t say this, because he’s my brother --edward


AN: I do not own twilight, just a fan ^__^

FYI: Bella's parents are not separated in this story

To begin with, it was almost evening. The setting sun had filled the whole street with a green –gold haze, twilight, my favorite part of the time and the locust trees were in bloom. There's something about the fragrance of locust blossoms that absolutely sends me.

"Persia …" I said dreamily, breaking the silence which had lasted ever since I'd told Edward I wouldn't go to the movies with him. "That's what the locust smell like. Like the poetry of Omar Khayyam –"

Edward snorted. "It's Iran, Bella. And if it smells like anything, its oil."

"I wasn't speaking to you," I said coldly. This is a mistake because it gave Edward a chance to go into one of his elaborate routines. He looked over his left shoulder, then over his right. He craned his neck and looked at the empty space between me and the porch post.

"Well," he said, very sarcastically, "since I'm the only person around, I guess you'll just have to pardon me for thinking you were talking to me."

"Why don't you go home next door?" I inquired, glancing pointedly at the house next door. 'I'm sure I heard Esme calling you. Or Carlisle. Or your brother"

"Okay." Edward got to his feet, almost six feet tall and still growing, and hooked his thumbs through the belt of his pants. "I can take a hint – even when it's so subtle. But I'll tell you one thing, Isabella Swan. I feel sorry for you."

"_Me?" _If I'd been reading, I'd have dropped the book. "Why is that?"

Suddenly Edward was very much interested in the toes of his shoes. "You're in love with Jasper, that's why. And you're too young for him. Maybe I shouldn't say this, because he's my brother, but he's nuts about Alice Brandon. He's going to marry her, I think."

"You're – you're crazy!" I said, but the words came out all shaky. It was true; I was in love with Jasper, but I hadn't told a soul, not even Rosalie Hale, my best friend. I stood up. "You're crazy!" I repeated. "What makes you think I'm in love with your – silly brother?"

Edward looked like a kicked puppy that won't run away, even though it knows it's going to get kicked again. "The way you look at him," he said. "The way you're always coming over to the house to ask me something when he's there. The – the business you give him –"

"_Business?" _I shrilled.

"Yeah," Edward said. "Licking your lips and biting it. I guess you think you look like a movie star when you do that. Tilting your head back and making your eyelids all droopy. Sometimes I think I'll vomit, the way you act around Jasper."

I tried to drop dead. But it's impossible when you're in the best of health, so I had to stand there, scorched with embarrassment that could be seen at how red as I tomato I am, traitor face. I whisper in a chocked voice, "I am not in love with your brother, Edward Anthony Cullen. And if _he_ thinks for one minute that I –"

"He's doesn't," Edward said. "He's so gone on Alice Brandon that he doesn't think anything but Alice, Alice, Alice." Edward scrapes on the flagstone walk. "I got him down awhile ago, wrestling, and made him say 'Mercy'."

"_Edward!" _I squeaked. "You didn't! You couldn't!"

"Did, though I'm as tall, almost as heavy –"

Mom was at the door, saying, "Bella, your father and I are going to the Andresen's – Oh, hello, Edward … Dear," she said to me, "Do you have any plans? I mean are you and Edward –"

"Don't worry about me, Mom," I said quickly.

"I have a book to finish reading …"

"Don't you and Edward want to watch television?"

"Edward's going to the movies," I said, before he could accept the invitation.

"Oh? Well …" her voice trailed off and so did she, back to the living room, where she tried to get dad off watching the news.

Edward said, "I guess the reason I was able to wrestle Jasper down was because I was so angry at him. He'd been kidding me about you, and knowing how you – Bella, its rough when a guy's girl goes and falls for his older brother –"

I tried not to lose my temper. "Edward," I said patiently, "please listen carefully. In the first place, I am not your girl. Repeat, _not._ Just because we've known each other since First year, and gone to a few movies together – and in the second place, I am not in love with Jasper."

"Okay, okay! Just forget I ever mentioned it." He shoved his hands in his pockets and gave me a look. He knew I was lying about not being in love with Jasper. "Guess I'll go," he said.

Which was certainly all right with me. I watched him cross the yard and go inside their house. It was getting dark, and the street was so quiet that I heard a locust petal fall with a faint plop on the sidewalk out in front.

Upstairs at the Cullen's, the light went on in Jasper's room, and I heard him start whistling " Startdust," putting in all sorts of fancy trills. Obviously, he was getting ready for his date with Alice Brandon and thinking about her.

He didn't know I was alive. Not in the real sense of the word. I was the kid next door. "Edward's girl." But I wasn't Edward's girl, and hadn't been for a long time. Not since my 16th birthday, two months ago.

Everybody knows that girls grow up faster than boys. That is, everybody except parents and boys like Edward. My goodness, a girl at 16 is so mature that she can't stand boys her own age! They have to be at least 18 to be interesting. Even the, they're not -- very.

At 16, you're ready for men like Jasper, who is 23. You know it, and you just hope they'll have sense enough to wait until you get out of high school.

That's what I was thinking as I stood there on the front porch after Edward went home. The lovely whistling of "Stardust: came to an end. It hadn't been for me, anyway. And if Edward was right, if Jasper was going to ask Alice to marry him -- _how was I going to bear it?_

Dad and Mom came out on the porch, on their way to the Andersen's." Wishing on the first star, kitten?" Dad asked.

I nodded to say yes. It's the only way to keep your sanity, I've discovered -- agree w/ your parents whenever you can. Particularly when they ask silly questions.

Mom said, "Sure you won't be lonely here by yourself, dear?"

I looked at the star Dad thought I'd been wishing on. "A little solitude is always welcome," I said.

Dad almost choked, trying to cough instead of chuckle. Sometimes it would be a relief if he would laugh instead of going into the fake coughing routine. I don't know what's so funny about wanting a little solitude. Is it funny because you're 16?

At least Mom doesn't act as though I were comic strip material. She said, "Well, all right, dear ..." and then teetered on the top step a second, worrying, knowing the way mothers do that I was absolutely crushed about something -- wanting to do something about it, & all in a box because she didn't know who, what, when or where. Moms have a gruesome time, I guess, after the band-aid, kiss-&-make-it-well days are over with.

I flashed some teeth at her, "really, I want to finish that book."

After they left, I went up to my room and read another chapter in a book about Emily Dickson.

"She knew," I thought. "She knew . . ." We were sisters under the skin, Emily Dickson and I, with our unhappy love affairs. Maybe I'd turn into a cloistered poet too. And after I was dead, people would find all of these notebooks filled with lovely poems & they'll published it, & critics would be in a fever trying to find out abt. the "Mystery Man" in my life.

Suddenly I was seized w/ the most burning desire to write a poem. And the first line simply leaped in to my head. _Love is locked within my heart . . . ._ It was good. Good? It was wonderful! But who wanted to write poetry in pants and her father's old white shirt? I decided to take a shower & get into something like the royal-blue house coat Mom had given me for my birthday.

When I came back to my room, I put a touch of freesia perfume behind each ear & then peeked through the curtain at the Cullen's. Both sides of the doubled garage were empty. Jasper had taken his car, of course, but I could see Carlisle & Esme watching at the living room, so that meant Edward had taken the Volvo. Somehow I hadn't thought he'd go to the movie w/o me. Not that I cared, but he never had before.

I got a notebook & pen from my desk, & lay down on the bed. _Love is locked w/in my heart . . . ._ I wrote. Now for the second line, but I couldn't seem to get my brain focus. Then I began thinking about Jasper. One day he'd just been Edward's older brother who'd finished college & gone to work for his father in the hospital; the next day, everything was changed.

_----Flashback----_

_"Hi! Bella" said Jasper, when I was out in the yard. Then he did a sort of double-take, and while he didn't whistle, he might as well have--judging by the look in his eyes. _

_"Hey, you're getting to be quite the young lady_, _aren't you?"_

_I tried to think of something clever to say, but the best I could do was, "Well, Edward & I had to get out of the sandbox someday."_

_Jasper grinned. "True. And it's more peaceful since you two quit batting each other over the head w/ a sand shoves." there was a pause._

_"How's that brother of mine treating you these days, Bella?"_

_Again I couldn't think of anything clever. "Okay" I said_

_"Good. I f he gives you hard time, let me know. I'll pin his ears back" he said and wink at me_

_2 days later, he dropped in for just a minute at the birthday party Mom gave me -- buffet supper & dancing -- and handed me this precious little box w/ a star shaped earring inside._

_"For the precious queen of the night," he said._

_"Heck", Edward had jeered, watching me pin it on, "he was ordering one for Alice at the same time. He's just trying to impress you." Edward was jealous because I'd made more of a fuss over the earring than I had over the bracelet and chocolate he brought me._

_----End of Flashback----_

That was the night I knew for certain I was in love w/ Jasper. And lying on the bed thinking about my birthday party, I dropped off to sleep. When I awakened, it was 11:15. My parents weren't home yet, but that wasn't surprising.

I got up & peeked through the curtains again. Both doors of the Cullen's garage were down so Edward was home from the show & Jasper from his date. Then I saw someone on their porch. I knew it was Jasper because of that old black jersey he wears around home. He was just standing there, his hands in his pockets, looking up at the stars, & while I watched, he started whistling "Stardust" very, very softly.

I shivered & my heart began thumping like a kettledrum. Why shouldn't I go out in front & look at the stars, too? I knew where the constellation of Hercules was -- Edward had showed me last summer. So I gave my hair a quick one-two w/ the brush & ran downstairs.

Oh, it was heavenly night! The sky was filled w/ stars clusters; the fragrance of the locusts was so sweet & heavy that I seemed literally to float on their perfume toward the hedge. I'd never been alone w/ Jasper before. Perhaps now, on a night like this, he'd realize I was something more than the kid next door. Perhaps --

The whistling stopped.

"Hi" I called softly.

Jasper came slowly down the steps, crossed the yard, & for the second time that evening I tried to drop dead. Because it wasn't Jasper at all -- it was _Edward. _Edward wearing Jasper's old black jersey.

"Hi" he said. "You were smart not to go to the movie. It was really corny."

And except for the words, it might just as well have been Jasper standing there on the other side of the hedge. The night & the shadows did something to Edward's face, sharpened it somehow so that he looked older. Exactly like Jasper. Exactly the way he was going to look 7 yrs from now when _he_ was 23. And suddenly I felt just the way Einstein must have felt when he finally figured out the theory of relativity.

I swallowed. "Edward," I said, "how come you're wearing Jasper's jersey?"

He grinned a little. "When I outwrestled him today, this was the pay-off for letting him up . . . That kid's getting out of condition"

There was something else I wanted to know, but I didn't know how to be subtle about it, so I blurted, "I've never heard you whistle 'Stardust' before".

Edward thought about it. "It's kind of a relief from all this rock & roll rocket though, isn't it?"

I nodded. Everything was quiet that we could hear my parents saying good night w/ the Andersens. 4 houses down the street, as they started home.

"Edward," I said quickly, "I've got to go in, so please listen carefully. You were absolutely wrong, thinking I had crush on Jasper. Honestly."

"Yeah?" His voice sort of wobbled. "I sure hope so, Bella, because he got engaged to Alice tonight."

I didn't feel a thing. Not a thing. And I really meant it when I said, "That's great!" OMG! When Edward wad Jasper's age, he was going to be taller than and twice as handsome as him. Mom and Dad's footsteps were coming closer and closer.

"I've got to go, Edward," I said, and sort of swayed over the hedge. "Would you like to kiss me good night?" I know this was silly of me asking the guy's brother who I thought I was in love with. Ok Bella, breathe in, that was very weird to say to him. Relax and slowly back away from Edward. You can do it.

But before I ever move & because I'm so preoccupied thinking of my great escape from humiliation, I didn't notice that Edward hands were on my waist and his face is so close to mine. There I realize hope beautiful his emerald-green eye sparkle.

It was a very satisfactory kiss. In fact, I was still weak-kneed when I ran upstairs & popped into bed.


End file.
